I Liked You Better When Your Butt Was Big

Once upon a time we had a crazy fling
And let me tell you, babe, you gave me quite a turn
You took your sweet affection in reverse direction
And showed me new ways to yearn
It almost drove me crazy when you left me
The work to get you back it was ‘a hefty
Kept you for a week or two of peekaboo
Came to my senses and broke up with you

But I saw you the other day
You’ve been doing squats the wrong way
I can’t approve the new rig
I liked you better when your butt was big 

You’re quite demuring when you smile
And turn the back of your affection on the little guy
And when a classic beauty like the girl next door
Goes to the nickel store, who’m I to question why?
Predictably she deigns complaint
With the quaintness of the merchandise
And sends him wringing hands through lonely lands
To ask his worried friends’ advice

Lyrics used by permission